Have Fun This Mother’s Day (A Funny Story)

Happy mother’s day to all the moms reading the site. Parents are great. Mom’s are something else, as they give birth to us. Me personally, my mom was in labor 36-hours and I was born a day late, with dark red hair.

I asked my mom what she wanted for mother’s day and she was unsure. So I said, "I’ll give you my debit card (bank card) and you buy what you want." She said okay, took the card and asked for the code, which I gave her. Then I jokingly told her, just call me when you get to the cash register and they ring up the stuff you picked…so I can call the police. I was just teasing, as I wouldn't do that to her. I love you mom. Happy Mother’s Day.

Because I wormed out of cooking Christmas dinner months ago (hey, I made the salad, that counts doesn't it) and thought I had gotten away with it (turns out I didn't) my family’s making me make the Mother’s Day dinner. I jokingly told them they’re gonna starve. I can cook well, on a restaurant level, but on holidays I get tired because of the amount of stuff I do on weekdays.

8.6 Million People Watched The Third Season Debut Episode Of 'Duck Dynasty'

The Robertson family, cast of the reality show "Duck Dynasty"

The new season of the hit reality show "Duck Dynasty" starring the Robertson family, debuted to high ratings two weeks ago, as the show was watched by 8,600,000 people. It's the top non-scripted show on television. Congrats to them, as the show is hilarious and edifying. It's nice to watch something on television that is good, inspiring and makes people laugh. Continued success to you.  

Kevin Hart Won The MVP At The NBA Celebrity All Star Basketball Game Which Featured Usain Bolt

Yesterday, Comedian Kevin Hart won the MVP (Most Valuable Player, more like Most Valuable Potatohead) at the NBA's All Star Basketball game. Hart, with the grace of the Aflac Duck and Geico lizard, cheated his little way to victory.

Kevin Hart fake crying at winning the MVP again. Another one who thinks he is Michael Jordan.

But how are you going to give the MVP to a dude that stars on a show with the words "House Husbands" in the title. How did the team mascot win the MVP. Hart is 2 inches shorter than my mama, who is all of 5 feet tall and can't play basketball either (wink). Why don't you just make her the MVP then, since we're giving away stuff (LOL).

Kevin Hart's longwinded speech

Regarding Hart being given the trophy, I demand a recount, DNA and proof there were no "hanging chads." Seriously, whoever heard of a black guy winning MVP at a basketball game. I've said it before and I'll say it again. The NBA needs to stop "holding the black white man down."

Usain Bolt's dunk wasn't enough to get the MVP, from a man half his height. It was a victory for short folks everywhere, you know, like my mom (just teasing).

There are more black people in the NBA than at KFC (and if you know how much black people eat chicken, you will understand the gravity of that statement). Just kidding (white people reading the site don't repeat that chicken joke LOL). Seriously, It looks like a great time was had by all, both black and white and that's how it's supposed to be.

First Lady Michelle Obama's Healthy State Dinner For Kids Is Helping The Republican Party

Michelle Obama

First Lady Michelle Obama continues to push her healthy eating plan for kids, apart of her "Let's Move" campaign. The initiative is admirable (even if the president doesn't adhere to it). The menu was posted online yesterday and revealed items such as "Kale Chips, Cabbage Sloppy Joes, Baked Zucchini Fries, Strawberryana Smoothie and chunks of fruit on a wooden skewer."

However, Mrs. Obama may be inadvertently helping the rival Republican party. One online poster read the menu and commented, "When those kids finally get off the toilet, they'll all be Republicans!" That's one of the funniest things I've read all week. Those kids certainly have a pooping spree coming their way.

STORY SOURCE

First Lady serves ‘Cabbage Sloppy Joes’ and ‘Zucchini Fries’ to kids for state dinner

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The 2012 Olympic Opening Ceremony In London Aims To Dazzle The World

London 2012

"Slumdog Millionaire" British director, Danny Boyle, has been tasked with presenting a dazzling show for the opening ceremony of the 2012 Olympics, being held in lovely London, England, which has been warm and sunny all week.

Initially, some in London were worried when they heard about Boyle's natural concept for the $50,000,000 show featuring sheep, among other animals. I know I thought to myself, "Sheep? Really? The sheep better have fireworks coming out of their butts" (Just teasing). Though, that could get messy (scientifically speaking, sheep and fireworks don't mix).

A model of the London 2012 Olympic opening ceremony titled "Green and Pleasant Land"

However, when I read about the show being set in a village called "Great and Pleasant Land" with a large group of kids singing, I thought that would win over crowds and give the opening a nice theme and good scene. The purpose of the show is to start the Olympics off on the right foot, with a sense of camaraderie between nations. Hope it all goes well. Have a great Olympics everyone. God bless.

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