Some people go broke from dating. Let me start by stating, you can’t
buy love. What you are buying is a body. If someone loves you, they won’t
be a financial problem. However some people, especially men, buy into
the theory that love means spending money on a woman…then they go
broke and she loses interest. Some of you will have nothing left, over a
gold digger.
I’ve seen men do this. To maintain an image or to impress a woman,
they buy her things, move her into their place and end up stuck on a
treadmill of spending to please someone, who does not love them.
Cohobating with someone is something sacred that should be reserved for
marriage.
If your girlfriend is the mother of your children, you need to look
into marrying her, if she is the one for you (pray for guidance). Some
people belong together and what they have is real, but sometimes are
scared to make that commitment regarding marriage.
However, if she is just your girlfriend and kids aren’t in the
picture, you need to ask her to move out. You shouldn’t be living in
sin with anyone, as God will not bless that. It is spiritually
negative.
Some of you are living with gold diggers using you and causing you
financial damage. You need to think about taking back the stuff you
bought her (if new) or sell the items if no longer new, putting the
financial proceeds into a reliable government backed CD (certificate of
deposit) for your future and ask her to move out.
Once again, you should not be living in sin– as God is not going
to bless that. It will bring problems on you. Correct that situation
before it costs you more than you are willing to pay emotionally,
mentally, personally and financially. I don’t write this to be
judgmental, but I’ve seen so many people go through bad things from
doing this that could have been avoided. Why go through that heartache
and disappointment if you can avoid it.
Not to mention, while you are playing house with the wrong one, the
right one for you will pass you by. The average person will not want to
date someone who has someone living with them already.
Now, once you get married, if you want to buy each other cars, jewelry (within reason that doesn’t bankrupt the family) that’s
different as you’ve made that commitment to each other. That’s
someone you’re building a life with. However, you can set yourself up
for a fall doing so when not married.
Is your girlfriend buying you gifts of equal value and spending the same kind of
money on you. If not, you’re being used. Some of you are living with
women costing you portions of your income and for what. Seriously,
think about that. You’re being used and taken advantage of. A decent
woman would be looking out for your financial future, not trying to get
what she can from you. Remember that.
One day they are going to show you their true colors and you’re
going to be devastated. Don’t be a sucker. Wise up before it’s too
late.
Since I’ve written about the men, it’s time to discuss the women.
Some women are trying to buy a man’s affection as well and it’s the
same story. It’s a bad idea and not going to work. He will think he
can do anything and get away with it – and in some cases spend your
hard earned money on other women.
I’m not saying a person can’t buy someone a gift here and there
in a relationship, but in some cases it is excessive, indicating the
person is being used. Don’t be your boyfriend’s sugar mama. It’s
undignified and beneath you.
To the men and women reading this column, ask yourself, if you didn’t
have a dime, would that person be with you. Are they asking you for
material things and money. Do they treat you better when they get these
things and worse when they don’t. If someone loves you , they will be
with you even if you don’t have a dime or spend a dime on them. Don’t
let yourself become anyone’s meal ticket. That’s not what love or
life is about. Living in sin and the price you pay isn’t worth it.
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