Thursday, July 25, 2013

Are You Marrying The Right Person?

Love is something special. When you find the right one you know. Marriage is a logical step and a great one. The question is are you marrying the right one. It is a huge life decision that will impact the course of your life. It is not one to be pressured into or rushed into, as that is your life.

Marriage should never be about money or social status. It should be about love and commitment. Making a vow to the one you truly love and believe is your soulmate. Love is priceless. It should not be taken lightly, undervalued or overlooked.

Sometimes people rush into marriage and it creates serious problems in their lives. They end up marrying the wrong one and seriously regretting it. Sometimes people think they are in love, when it is actually lust. They believe they want someone who is not the right person for them, because they are acting on their hormones. Looks fade (that goes for men and women). What you are left with afterwards is what will last in your life, so make sure this is the right person for you.

Compatibility is very important. Sometimes women cling to men who simply are not right for them and rush them down the altar only for it to end in disaster, heartbreak and regret. Sometimes men marry women for all the wrong reasons - lust, pressure from family and friends, an unplanned pregnancy used to trap them.

Speaking of that, family and friends need to be careful about trying to tell others who they should marry. You may mean well, but end up pushing the person into marriage with the wrong person, then later regret interfering. Don't tell people who they should marry.

Prince Charles and Camilla Parker when they were younger

I'll cite a famous example. Prince Charles fell madly in love with Camilla Parker, who felt the same way about him. They were both single, young and very much in love. The compatibility was there, but some didn't see it. His family and friends stated she was not suitable for him, because she did not come from what they deemed the right background and was a year older than Prince Charles.

Camilla, unable to deal with what Charles was being told, broke off the relationship, then ran off and married another man. According to books on the subject, when Prince Charles received word the love of his life had ran off and married someone else, he was devastated. His family and friends' advice had ruined their lives, which would become more and more apparent as time went by.

Prince Charles and Diana never saw eye to eye

Prince Charles later married my favorite royal, Lady Diana, who became Princess Diana. However, Diana and Charles were totally incompatible and he based on his own words, was not in love with her. He was being pressured into marriage by family and friends to produce an heir. After Charles and Diana married, it became apparent they were incompatible. They were like night and day. He loved the country, she loved the city. He loved books, she liked magazines. He loved museums and art, she loved fashion.

The age gap didn't help either. It caused problems between Charles and Diana. Where the Palace thought, like so many do, someone younger was the better choice, they were wrong in this case, as it caused major problems with Diana and Charles, who simply did not relate to each other. There was a generation gap and they did not share the same interests.

A glum looking Princess Diana and Prince Charles whose marriage was troubled from the outset

Worst of all, Charles was not in love with Diana. The man looked glum in pre-wedding interviews and when asked if he is in love gave a roundabout answer that indicated no. That was a warning sign no one heeded. Charles was still carrying a flame for Camilla, which led to ill-advised incidents of adultery during the marriage and Diana cheated with other men as well.

The marriage caused Diana and Charles an enormous amount of misery, heartbreak and public ridicule, rocked the monarchy, then ended in a very acrimonious divorce. They simply did not belong together and the very thing the Palace sought to preserve, the monarchy, took a terrible blow because of a marriage that was not meant to be.

Prince Charles and Duchess Camilla today

After Diana died, Charles went right back to the love of his life, his soulmate, Camilla, marrying her. He should have married Camilla from the start, as his family and friends' advice was completely wrong. They say hindsight is 20/20, but people know who they love before they marry. He and Camilla knew in their hearts it was true love, but other people came between them, building walls and barriers that should not have been there, which is the case for quite a few couples, who go on to regret listening to those that led them wrong, albeit unintentionally.

I've had friends ask me who I think they should marry, regarding someone they were dating, but I don't believe in giving specific advice in such matters, because at the end of the day, I don't know their hearts, who they truly love or who God made for them. It's not my place or anyone else's, other than the two people in love and God, to make such a determination. In such situations, I usually just pray for the person that God will guide them into making the right decision. 

Marrying the wrong person can turn into a nightmare. Sadly, people end up divorcing trying to extricate themselves from a marriage that was not based in true love, via a situation that could cost them all they've worked for, destroying their finances and taking them on a terrible emotional roller coaster.  

There is someone ideal for everyone. People won't always agree on every single thing in their lives, but for each person there is someone out there who is ideal for them. Everyone deserves to find and marry that truly love. Don't sell yourself short. You deserve the best and the one that is right for you.

Before you get married, pray about it. Ask God to show you via circumstances if the person you seek to marry is the right one, lest you make the wrong decision. Ask God for guidance and to show you who the right person is for you, lest you make a mistake you end up regretting for the rest of your life. God can bring the right person into your life. Pray and have faith.