Barack Obama
The previously unnamed person that elbowed U.S. President Barack Obama in the mouth yesterday, bursting his lip during a ghetto friendly basketball game, which necessitated 12 stitches, has been found, via my extensive, painstaking investigative skills. Ok, I read it on another site I found during a two second internet search.
Obama (left) regarding Arne Duncan (right): I can't believe he just busted my lip!
The individual in question is none other than U.S. Secretary of Education, Arne Duncan (more like Tim Duncan). And to think, Obama appointed this man (haha). Dude, that was not the best way to protest not getting a pay raise. Look for good ol' Arne to be renditioned for jaywalking.
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