Showing posts with label colonoscopy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label colonoscopy. Show all posts

Friday, December 7, 2012

When Beauty Queens Have Colonoscopies


It is important that people have colonoscopies just to be on the safe side, as the colon can host a number of diseases. My mom, bless her heart, had a colonoscopy yesterday and it came up all clear, which was great news. However, the drama behind it was something else. 

My mom, a former beauty queen, never lost that vanity they all have (you should see her watching beauty contests on television now, sniping about some of the contestants on the screen, "In my day we weren't allowed to wear hair extensions or have implants" - not that she needed either). 

That beauty queen vanity is still prevalent in her life to the point, I am not allowed to tell people her real age. The inaccurate age I am forced to give, in reality would mean she gave birth to me when she was 5. While she is glad the test results are good, she was more happy to hear the doctor say she has the "colon of a 20-year-old." She just keeps bragging about it. While I'm thinking, how much did she pay the doctors to say that. 

After the colonoscopy, when she awoke from the anesthesia, got herself together and was existing through the waiting room, the nurse gave her a piece of paper about her visit. My mom began to read the paper and as she looked down the document she read the brand of anesthetic they had given her, which was...wait for it...Propofol. 

Stunned and shocked, my mom blurted out "WHAT?! YOU GAVE ME WHAT THEY GAVE MICHAEL JACKSON!" which caused all the people in the waiting room to laugh at my dear mother. The nurse, who too was laughing told my mom,  "And you had a good nap too" during the procedure. To said nurse, for giving my mom Propofol, I'm gonna kick your butt if I catch you (only joking about the beatdown).   

RELATED ARTICLE

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Wikileaks Gives U.S. Government A Colonoscopy


The above posted photo illustration of a colonoscopy is medical and scientific, I assure you (but not so much combined with this article)

The whistleblower website Wikileaks has unleashed another ream of documents online that are among the most sensational yet. The site has begun releasing 250,000 classified U.S. government cables, which reveal Washington insulting, degrading and denigrating a number of world leaders. The comments were disproportionate to the acts of said world leaders, rendering the jabs cruel, caustic and juvenile.

British Prime Minister, David Cameron (left) and U.S. President, Barack Obama (right)

Obama displays a hatred for Europe in the U.S. diplomatic cables, which state the President prefers Arab nations. This will do nothing to change the minds of those that believe he is a Muslim using Christianity for political gain.

The U.S. government disrespectfully slammed top ally Britain, attacking current British Prime Minister, David Cameron and his predecessor, Gordon Brown, referring to him as "unstable" when the U.K. has gone to great lengths to support America at every turn, even at its own nation's expense and name, committing the lives of its soldiers, some of whom have died. The U.S. government also spies on British Members of Parliament, which is hardly lawful.

French President, Nicholas Sarkozy, was coldly referred to by the U.S. government as "an emperor with no clothes" who is "thin skinned" with a "personal authoritarian style."

Russian Prime Minister, Vladimir Putin, was called an "alpha dog" and linked to "organized crime." Russian President, Dmitry Medvedev is insultingly referred to as a "pale, hesitant figure that "plays Robin to Putin's Batman."

Italy's Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi, is painted in unflattering and irresponsible terms, as a wild party animal who is a, "feckless, vain, and ineffective as a modern European leader." He was called a, "physically and politically weak leader, whose frequent late nights and penchant for partying hard mean he does not get sufficient rest."

German Chancellor Angela Merkel is referred to as, "risk aversive and rarely creative." There is nothing wrong with being risk averse. It saves economies from destruction and risky financial plans that create massive national debt.

Libya's President, Muammar Gaddafi, is described by the U.S. government as an adulterer, who is in love with a "voluptuous" Ukrainian blonde that he carries everywhere with him under the guise of being a nurse.

Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is referred to as "Hitler" with the U.S. government conspiring with King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia to kill him and destroy his nuclear program, thus cutting "off the head of the snake" who could destabilize the Middle East.

Afghanistan's President, Hamid Karzai, is insulted as a person who "floats along on paranoia" and is "an extremely weak man who did not listen to facts but was instead easily swayed by anyone who came to report even the most bizarre stories or plots against him." Maybe he had good reason to be suspicious, just look what you secretly wrote about him.

North Korea's Kim Jong-il is called a "flabby old chap" laboring under "physical and psychological trauma." Zimbabwe's Robert Mugabe is called "the old madman."

Wikileaks founder Julian Assange

The terrible ill-will and arrogance contained in the aforementioned cables is hypocritical to say the least and presents a great danger to the world, in that the government could harbor such malice towards other nations and their leaders, to the point they saw fit to issue such horrible personal and professional assessments. It shows a total lack of respect for others' human rights, humanity and privacy, not to be spied on like dogs and secretly insulted and degraded in cowardly government documents for others amusement.

RELATED ARTICLES

Wikileaks Preps Another Massive Document Dump Online

STORY SOURCE

Wikileaks Website

No evidence that WikiLeaks releases have hurt anyone

US regrets leaks, says will tighten security

Cyber Attack Against WikiLeaks Was Weak

Wikileaks Reveals Secret US Embassy Cables About Honduran Coup