Thursday, September 24, 2009

When Penis Implants Go Wrong

In a September 17, 2009 article titled “Say Goodbye To My Little Friend” the Miami New Times revealed a story of penile implants gone wrong. Yes, really, doctors can do that.

Married Miami resident, Enrique Millas, 62, was suffering from erectile dysfunction, codeword: impotence and sought the services of urologist, Paul E. Perito. Men, mark that name down and run from said doctor like the plague.

He performed surgery on Millas, implanting a silicone like wand in his penis, which according to the doctor would remain, “In an erect state at all times.” Is that safe?

The surgery involves “stitches” “brusing” and “swelling.” It also demands the patient’s penis be, “Kept against their abdomen for three days with the supplied scrotal support.”

However, Millas’ penis turned “gangrenous” (translation: discolored, bloodless and infected) and had to be excised (translation: they chopped it off). That poor man.

However, he might not be poor for long, as he has sued the surgeon for malpractice. Due to losing his penis after the risky surgery, complicated by his diabetes, Millas can never have sex again and urinates sitting down.

It’s hard to judge this man for wanting the surgery, as comical as the concept of the procedure sounds, because how is he any different from women who get implants to impress men.

Most people want to be attractive and considered whole, normal human beings. Most people want the best for themselves. When someone destroys apart of your body through negligence, it is a terrible thing to endure.

Side Bar: I do not recommend this surgery for my readers. However, I highly recommend it for the head of the FBI, Robert Mueller. He cheated on his wife anyway. Therefore, that ought to slow him down.

What, you think you’re the only one that knows information on people, Mr. Mueller and unlike you, I get my info legally without violating the Constitution and Patriot Act.