Are You Marrying The Right Person?

Love is something special. When you find the right one you know. Marriage is a logical step and a great one. The question is are you marrying the right one. It is a huge life decision that will impact the course of your life. It is not one to be pressured into or rushed into, as that is your life.

Marriage should never be about money or social status. It should be about love and commitment. Making a vow to the one you truly love and believe is your soulmate. Love is priceless. It should not be taken lightly, undervalued or overlooked.

Sometimes people rush into marriage and it creates serious problems in their lives. They end up marrying the wrong one and seriously regretting it. Sometimes people think they are in love, when it is actually lust. They believe they want someone who is not the right person for them, because they are acting on their hormones. Looks fade (that goes for men and women). What you are left with afterwards is what will last in your life, so make sure this is the right person for you.

Compatibility is very important. Sometimes women cling to men who simply are not right for them and rush them down the altar only for it to end in disaster, heartbreak and regret. Sometimes men marry women for all the wrong reasons - lust, pressure from family and friends, an unplanned pregnancy used to trap them.

Speaking of that, family and friends need to be careful about trying to tell others who they should marry. You may mean well, but end up pushing the person into marriage with the wrong person, then later regret interfering. Don't tell people who they should marry.

Prince Charles and Camilla Parker when they were younger

I'll cite a famous example. Prince Charles fell madly in love with Camilla Parker, who felt the same way about him. They were both single, young and very much in love. The compatibility was there, but some didn't see it. His family and friends stated she was not suitable for him, because she did not come from what they deemed the right background and was a year older than Prince Charles.

Camilla, unable to deal with what Charles was being told, broke off the relationship, then ran off and married another man. According to books on the subject, when Prince Charles received word the love of his life had ran off and married someone else, he was devastated. His family and friends' advice had ruined their lives, which would become more and more apparent as time went by.

Prince Charles and Diana never saw eye to eye

Prince Charles later married my favorite royal, Lady Diana, who became Princess Diana. However, Diana and Charles were totally incompatible and he based on his own words, was not in love with her. He was being pressured into marriage by family and friends to produce an heir. After Charles and Diana married, it became apparent they were incompatible. They were like night and day. He loved the country, she loved the city. He loved books, she liked magazines. He loved museums and art, she loved fashion.

The age gap didn't help either. It caused problems between Charles and Diana. Where the Palace thought, like so many do, someone younger was the better choice, they were wrong in this case, as it caused major problems with Diana and Charles, who simply did not relate to each other. There was a generation gap and they did not share the same interests.

A glum looking Princess Diana and Prince Charles whose marriage was troubled from the outset

Worst of all, Charles was not in love with Diana. The man looked glum in pre-wedding interviews and when asked if he is in love gave a roundabout answer that indicated no. That was a warning sign no one heeded. Charles was still carrying a flame for Camilla, which led to ill-advised incidents of adultery during the marriage and Diana cheated with other men as well.

The marriage caused Diana and Charles an enormous amount of misery, heartbreak and public ridicule, rocked the monarchy, then ended in a very acrimonious divorce. They simply did not belong together and the very thing the Palace sought to preserve, the monarchy, took a terrible blow because of a marriage that was not meant to be.

Prince Charles and Duchess Camilla today

After Diana died, Charles went right back to the love of his life, his soulmate, Camilla, marrying her. He should have married Camilla from the start, as his family and friends' advice was completely wrong. They say hindsight is 20/20, but people know who they love before they marry. He and Camilla knew in their hearts it was true love, but other people came between them, building walls and barriers that should not have been there, which is the case for quite a few couples, who go on to regret listening to those that led them wrong, albeit unintentionally.

I've had friends ask me who I think they should marry, regarding someone they were dating, but I don't believe in giving specific advice in such matters, because at the end of the day, I don't know their hearts, who they truly love or who God made for them. It's not my place or anyone else's, other than the two people in love and God, to make such a determination. In such situations, I usually just pray for the person that God will guide them into making the right decision. 

Marrying the wrong person can turn into a nightmare. Sadly, people end up divorcing trying to extricate themselves from a marriage that was not based in true love, via a situation that could cost them all they've worked for, destroying their finances and taking them on a terrible emotional roller coaster.  

There is someone ideal for everyone. People won't always agree on every single thing in their lives, but for each person there is someone out there who is ideal for them. Everyone deserves to find and marry that truly love. Don't sell yourself short. You deserve the best and the one that is right for you.

Before you get married, pray about it. Ask God to show you via circumstances if the person you seek to marry is the right one, lest you make the wrong decision. Ask God for guidance and to show you who the right person is for you, lest you make a mistake you end up regretting for the rest of your life. God can bring the right person into your life. Pray and have faith.

The Dangers Of Trapping A Man With Pregnancy In Trying To Make Him Stay

Some women cling to men they simply do not belong with. They are incompatible and have major differences. However, whether it be believing they love the person, it becoming an unhealthy obsession or trying to latch on to a man who is wealthy and or famous, some women get desperate when a man won't commit to them.

This desperation can lead to them doing unethical things, such as lying about birth control or  sabotaging condoms, in order to trick a man into an unplanned pregnancy. No man wants or appreciates such behavior from a woman, as it creates trust issues and feelings of betrayal in being duped and set up. You also run the risk of the pregnancy not turning out as planned, creating even more heartbreak for you and the man.

If a man wants to leave you, tricking him into pregnancy is not going to make him stay. It's a bad idea. He will be more inclined to leave, resentfully feeling he cannot trust you. If your boyfriend finds someone he deems more suitable and believes is the one for him, he will want to leave whether or not you are pregnant. Men do that all the time.

What happens when you trick him into pregnancy, wrongly believing it will trap him and make him stay, he leaves, marries another and gets her pregnant. He will not give your child the time and attention deserved, as his new family will be the priority. This has happened time and time again. Why put yourself in that situation.
If a couple is not married, there is no use in them staying together when they discover they are incompatible and not right for each other. People also should not cheat under those circumstances, as it is dishonest. It is better to break up than do that.

One needs to be honest with one's self and not get tied down in a relationship for the sake of having one, when you full well know the one you are with is not the one for you. In your heart you know when you find that great love, your soul mate. Settling for anything less is not going to make you happy. You have your life to live. While you sit in a relationship of convenience with someone you know is not the one for you, the one who is the right one for you, will end up passing you by, going off with someone else.

There are many women who have realized the one they have been dating is not the right one for them and let go, backed off, ending the relationship. But some women get carried away, determined they will cling to a man they know does not love them, refusing to let go, even if it destroys his life and their own. If you truly care about someone (that's single) you would want them to find true love, even if it is not with you - hence letting them go. Why would you want a man who does not love you, when you could find one who will.

You need to pay attention to your instincts. That doubt and lack of peace in one's soul about someone is an indicator that something is wrong. People often overlook what they are seeing and feeling while dating, regarding things that are underlying, valid concerns.

It is better to be single and wait for the right one, than linger with the wrong one out of convenience, even living in sin (living together and not married) while the right one passes you by, as it will cause you long term unhappiness for short term sexual gratification with someone you're simply not supposed to be with. You will jeopardize your future in doing so.

Living with someone you're not married to is not the best idea. So much can go wrong (and often does). Not to be judgmental, but there are so many ways both partners can end up hurt and damaged from living together while not married. Then you start making serious decisions that only married people should undertake. One of my friends bought a house with her boyfriend and the relationship deteriorated not long after they moved in. They ended up in court over the house in a very acrimonious legal battle costing them both a lot of money and bad feelings. They walked away from the experience very hurt.

In another incident I know, a man moved in his money hungry girlfriend, who was costing him over $500 per month in gifts and items she kept asking for. She even began costing him business opportunities with her clingy, temperamental conduct, trying to push people out of his life and control him at every turn, fearing he would leave. It's like she knew in her heart he didn't love her and it was all about sex. When he finally met someone he fell madly in love with, the woman rejected him because he had a live-in girlfriend (seriously, who in their right mind wants to date a man with a live in girlfriend). He quickly tried to put his girlfriend out, but during the time he worked on getting her out of the property, someone else began dating the woman he fell in love with and proposed to her, leaving him heartbroken. 

Once you find the right person for you, you will know, just make sure you haven't put yourself in a situation that will put you at a disadvantage in getting them. The best way to gain guidance on who is the right person for you is through prayer. Ask God to bring the right person into your life. Ask God to proverbially open the right doors and close the wrong ones in your life as well, lest you make a mistake in choosing the wrong one and end up unhappy and full of regrets. Your future is depending on it.

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